I’m sorry for the lack of updates here y’all. To be truthful, these last two months have been some of the hardest and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about it. Especially because it felt like that’s all I was doing. I was so sick of me.
If you have been following me on my Facebook page then you know when Little Bit (that’s the name we called him) was three weeks, we meet up with birth mom to give him back. But after meeting with her and her seeing him and holding him she just wasn’t ready. So, we came back home with Little Bit. But for how much longer we didn’t know. And we were quickly falling head over heals for him.
That’s when I went off the grid and started to really isolate myself here and within my circle of friends. I just didn’t know what God was doing and it was so hard.
I was at that place where I had to live day to day and chose to believe what I knew was true not what I was actually feeling. Man y’all, my head and my heart were so at war with each other. Every day I was holding this sweet little baby and he wasn’t mine.
I had prayed for him for so long. Here he was. In my arms. But not mine.
It felt like a cruel joke.
Then this past Tuesday something happened. I had just finished feeding Little Bit and was watching him stare at the angel wings (which he does a lot. One day he will know they were painted for him as I prayed for angels to protect over him). And instead of that scripture from Psalm 91 that was constantly on my heart for him, Jeremiah 29:11 immediately came to my mind.
It was one of those precious moments that you’ll always remember, ya know? It was as if I heard God respond to my question , “What are you doing here God?” And he said, “I know the plans I have for him Melissa. And they are good plans. Trust my plans. Trust me.”
Right after that moment our case worker called and was urgent that we have a phone call with the lady who runs the agency that afternoon. My mind went to the worst place it could go but I kept hearing what God had just said to me. Finally, late that afternoon we got the news that birth mom had called and asked to come in that Thursday to sign over her rights.
She wanted us to adopt Little Bit!
This was good news. Amazing news. But we had heard it a few times already so we couldn’t get our hopes up again until the papers were signed.
This past Thursday morning FINALLY got here and starting at 11 am our caseworker was texting us a play by play.
“She’s on her way”. “She’s still not here.” “She just got here and is reading over the papers.” “She signed them. It’s done!”
Little B, Little Bit and I had been out that afternoon and were eating lunch at McDonalds (don’t start judging me now) with our close friend Mandy. I’m so grateful she was there when we got that one final text and she was able to capture that moment!
We are now beginning the adoption process for Little Bit. He is ours! Little B is finally a big brother! Baby Lewis Dos is here to stay!
Thank you for all of your continued prayers. You will never now how much we truly needed them and I have no doubt they are what helped me get through these last two months. We are so grateful!
This Thanksgiving takes on a whole new meaning for me as I have walked this road and God has continued to walk by my side, more often then not, carrying me along the way.
We are grateful!